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    你有刪過自己愛的人嗎

    來源:網友投稿 時間:2017-07-03 16:43:14 閱讀: 字體:

    入夜,柚子洗漱完畢,躺在床上,打開關注的微信公眾號開始每晚睡前活動,讀幾篇文然后開啟美夢之旅。

    聽到微信提醒音,是李浩打開的消息,他說“我們就這樣吧,互刪吧”。柚子心底一瞬間的難過,平靜幾秒,發過去一個字“好”,然后想了想又加了一句“你刪吧,這個主動權交給你。”他秒回“我會的,因為我已經被傷透了,就當從來沒認識過吧,不見”。

    柚子沒有再回話,然后盯著聊天頁面發了幾秒鐘的呆,接著點開他的頭像,看到原本聲情并茂的圖文消息變成一條灰線,心頓時空洞的無以復加。慌神很久,終于點了刪除鍵。

    以為不會再難過了,因為隨著這段時間的冷落,疏遠,心已變得冷漠。可是直到刪除之后,心情一下子沉入谷底,再也無心看靜態的文字,打開綜藝頻道陷入嘻哈的情境。

    網絡承載著所有的蜜語甜言,朋友圈是窺探一個人日常生活的通行證,聊天記錄是見證從愛的如膠似漆到漸行漸遠的媒介,而刪除便意味著我們的世界再無交集,我們之間的距離,看似很近,在這座小城中,很多人總在不經意間碰面,可是有些人,一刪網絡,便是永別。

    是為什么會分開的呢?每當身邊的人問自己時,總是回答不合適。然后他們問“他對你不好嗎?”“很好”。以前也覺得找一個對自己好的就足夠了,可是,后來才發現聊得來,聽得懂比對自己好更重要。

    他說他已經被傷透了,自己又何嘗不是呢,不然又怎會在他家小區門口一趟趟地轉悠,猶豫該不該按下門鈴,不然又怎會在分手后還一直藕斷絲連,希望再給彼此一次機會,不然又怎會在刪除的那一刻心無所安放,靠看搞笑的綜藝來填補內心的空虛?又怎會在晚上一遍遍醒來,繼而長久的失眠?

    有時候刪除是篤定他還會加回來,想要驗證他對自己的在乎,有時候刪除是真的覺得走不下去了,再也無法參與他的生活,從此他朋友圈再也沒有自己的影子,看著他的喜怒哀愁卻再也難以融入。希望他過得好,可是卻難過那個給他歡樂的再也不是自己,寧愿一無所知,在時空的兩端各自安好。

    你有刪過自己最愛的人嗎?刪的時候干凈利落,卻用長久的時間來恢復因為一時沖動而引發的空虛感。以前每次上線都是為了和他聊天,仿佛永遠有聊不完的話題,會把他的朋友圈當做閱讀理解一般一遍遍翻閱,企圖彌補那些自己未參與的時光,可是后來慢慢地變得無話可說,他發過來的消息你永遠三言兩語草草完結,上線之后也不會再主動找他聊天,像最熟悉的陌生人一般躺在雙方的列表里。

    看見他每天在朋友圈發的消息,豐富多彩,看見他喜笑顏開的模樣,可是身邊卻再也沒有你的影子,你知道你們的生活終究漸行漸遠。

    也許只有刪除才是最好的出路,也許不見才是兩個人的歸宿吧,至少不用再接受無話不說到無話可說的落差,至少不會再一遍遍提醒自己那些曾經的甜蜜以及現在的無路可走。

    刪的時候,我知道你也會難過,可是誰不是這樣過來的呢?后來的黑名單曾經也互道晚安,曾經的特別關注,后來也會形同陌路。不添加好友也許就不會有后來的故事,可是那些回憶也是我不愿意舍棄的曾經。

    我不曾后悔認識你,即使后來沒辦法走下去,也祝你安好。我相信你也終會遇到一加好友再無別離的那個人,在此之前請善待自己。

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