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    愛是一路艱辛,一路仁至義盡

    來源:網友投稿 時間:2017-05-08 00:00:00 閱讀: 字體:

    我很少寫關于愛情的文章,因為自己涉世未深,寫出來的東西顯得太過稚嫩。一切沒有發生在自己身上的故事,描述起來都會缺少一種感同身受的意味。可這次,朋友委托我,把她的戀愛史寫出來。這并不表示她還在戀愛中,她只是借用我的文,祭奠那段半路夭折的愛情。

    我很喜歡一句話:“對你所付出的愛的對象,無論他怎樣,你都只會更加愛他。”好好的一句陳述句,在我讀來,卻充滿了不確定的危險性。這句話運用到兩性圈子里,就表明,你全心全意所愛的那個人,你不僅要喜歡他所有的好,更要準備接收他更多的不好。或許有人會反駁,既然我喜歡他,我就會一點一點的幫他改掉所有的不好,讓他成為更好的自己,這難道不是我對他的愛最好的詮釋嗎?

    我也曾對月月說過同樣的話,她只是無奈的回了我一句:“或許吧,那得在他足夠愛你的時候。”

    月月是我為數不多女性朋友,她從高一開始就暗戀阿皓。即使兩個人所在的班離得老遠,她也不惜繞個大遠路,只為了經過阿皓的班級時看他一眼。“他在他班里中間位置的第三排”“他的課桌就像個垃圾堆”“他喝水用一個星巴克的藍色杯子”……當月月在我耳邊反復這些沒有任何意義的話時,我控制著自己不耐煩的語氣:“我就問你一句,他到底做什么了,你這么迷他?”我至今忘不了月月回答我問題時兩眼放光的表情:“跑操的時候,他沖我笑了啊。”我不知道阿皓有沒有對她笑,也不清楚阿皓所綻放笑顏的對象是不是她。我只記得,月月笑的花枝亂顫的臉,以及不久后,她的課桌上突然出現的一個粉紅色的星巴克的杯子。

    漸漸的,我已經對月月這種毫無意義的對一個男生的意淫與幻想沒有了任何的知覺。這種沒來由的暗戀力量真的太過強大,不是一般人可以體會貫通的。我以為這不過就是月月的雌性激素一時分泌過多,突如其來的母愛不知如何安置。誰知道,月月這一暗戀就是兩年。這兩年里,不知道她多少次在早讀之前偷偷潛入阿皓的教室,在他的桌洞里放上自己精心準備的早餐。不知道她多少次報了自己壓根不感興趣的學校活動,只是因為阿皓也參加。我對月月說,世界上再沒有一個男人能入的了你的眼。她淡淡回道:“還有我爸,你也能算一個。”我聽了月月的回答竟然起了一身的雞皮疙瘩:“可別,我實在是福薄,受不了你這種狂轟濫炸的愛。”

    可誰能想到,月月竟真的和阿皓走到一起了呢?前不久看《從你的全世界路過》,豬頭精心辦了一個對燕子的接風晚會并準備對她求婚,燕子應約而至。陳沫對燕子說:“你要是不回來,我都不相信愛情了。”

    那時,我以為,月月也給我證明了愛情的偉大,她那一場平淡又轟烈的暗戀,終于可以修成正果。

    我問月月是怎么和他在一起的,怎么這么突然,畢竟暗戀了兩年,我都開始分不清月月到底是喜歡阿皓,還是讓他在自己心里活成了神話。月月說:“是他主動提出來的,說我既然喜歡他,要不就在一起吧。”我很驚訝,難道,辛辛苦苦的暗戀,得到的是這么的簡單?我問了阿皓班里認識的朋友,原來,阿皓前不久剛剛結束了一段感情,并且,對于在阿皓漫長戀愛史中最不痛不癢的一次,他本人不以為然,沒有片刻休息,就迅速投入到與月月的熱戀中。

    我驚嘆于阿皓對愛情的強大“適應力”,并為月月捏了一把汗。可想到阿皓或許只是沒有遇到對的人,萬一月月就是那個能夠讓他從一而終的人呢。剛開始,我確實能看到月月溢于言表的幸福,終于和自己喜歡的人走到了一起,確實是再好不過的事情了吧。可常人道:本性難移。在雙方愛情博弈的過程中,最大程度付諸情感的一方儼然會成為了這場愛情中的犧牲品。從一開始就不平衡的天平,在一方心存他念時,只會傾斜的更加厲害。毫無意外,月月是這場感情的弱者。

    不過三個月,在月月的臉上,我再沒有看到一丁點兒高興的表情。問問她的室友,月月本月最近哭的次數創下了歷史新高,而且,全部都是因為阿皓。阿皓對她的毫不關心,對她的頤指氣使,對她的隨意索取……好好的一場愛情,怎么就只看見了將就的影子。所有人都看的出來,阿皓根本就不喜歡月月,哪怕月月依然全心全意,一心一意的對阿皓好這一點從沒有變過。可阿皓,只是那類沒有愛情不能生活的人。正好月月喜歡他,正好他處于空窗期。他所謂的在一起,不過是兩人那時都屬于“正好”而已。

    即便阿皓作成這樣,月月也從沒有提過分手。阿皓是從不會主動提分手的那種人,他從來都是等對方再忍受不了以后提出分手,然后他可以理所應當毫無負罪感的開展下一段感情。可月月這個女孩子,顯然忍耐力超乎了阿皓的預期。他不會知道月月對他有多么深的感情,也不會知道,如果他不傷透了月月的心,月月,是不會舍得斷了這場戀愛的。就這樣,兩個人相愛相殺到了高中畢業。阿皓成績特別好,而月月的成績卻不是那么令人滿意。可即便這樣,月月依然毅然決然地報了阿皓的大學。不同的是,阿皓是本科,月月報了這個大學對分數要求極低的專科。哪怕,月月的成績再不濟,上個普通的二本還是沒有問題的。

    大學開學還沒有兩個月,月月給我打電話,說她和阿皓正式分手了。我一點兒也不驚訝,甚至覺得對兩人來說,倒是一種解脫。在這一場長達三年的暗戀與交往中,月月終究還是從最初的心懷向往到現在被傷的傷痕累累。而這一切,竟然只是因為當年那一個操蛋的笑。我罵她:“分手了,你現在可以回憶一下自己是怎么一路犯賤,賤了三年。”月月竟笑出了聲:“我還是喜歡他,只是在他與別的女生眉來眼去時突然明白,喜歡未必要在一起,沒必要進行毫無意義的捆綁式愛情。”是啊,因喜歡而在一起的前提是互相喜歡,阿皓喜不喜歡月月?或許,也喜歡過吧,只是,卻永遠到不了值得月月托付一生的地步。

    作為她兩人戀愛史最長久的旁觀者,我正是因為知道太多所以才倍感心酸。聽說月月把她暗戀阿皓那兩年做的所有的事情都短信發給了阿皓,她不知道阿皓知不知道桌洞里熱騰騰的包子是她放的,她也不想再知道了。月月只是覺得,自己做的這么多的事兒,即使得不到他的尊重與感激,最起碼也得讓他知道。并且,月月也不介意讓阿皓始終對自己懷著愧疚。愛是一路艱辛,一路仁至義盡。可我知道,月月依舊相信愛情。

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